Thoughts, Growth and Goals

You find the “story of your life” by asking yourself this question. What did you want more than anything? Was it the love of your parents, or romantic love, or an end to abuse, or financial security, or self-esteem, or a puppy, or to be famous, or to stop being bulimic, or what? Then you go back and look at everything that happened that affected this goal—the things that made you want this goal in the first place, and the things that stood in your way of getting them, and everything you did to try to achieve your goal. This is the story; the pursuit of your goal. Even if you don’t get your goal in the end, or you decide you don’t want it anymore, the pursuit of a goal is the basis of a good life story.
~ Janice Erlbaum

In Grad School, I am now down to the last two subjects before the comprehensive exam and eventually my thesis dissertation.
As I was contemplating about enrolling those last two subjects next semester, I suddenly had this gush of not wanting to finish my Master’s degree anymore.

Why am I even questioning? do I really need to contemplate this decision?


First, I just thought it might have to do with not liking the last two subjects — Research and Statistics. Both are OK, but are not that interesting to me.

Number 2, I also thought that it just might have to do with the budget; you know how costly a thesis dissertation is (especially if you don’t finish writing it in one semester).

Number 3, Why am I spending so much money in school when I can use all of these to travel?

It could be these… then again, it could also be more than just these.

I am currently in the office and I just started typing this post out of the blue just because I could not contain my thoughts and feelings anymore.

Why am I questioning  myself about this goal? 

Hmmm….

Looking (or thinking) back, I have had this habit of quitting just because I know I will already get the goal.
Why do I quit? Well, hmmm…. lack of (or no more) excitement?
As they say, “♫ it’s all about the climb ♫ ♫”…no longer that challenging?
Why do I quit? Why do I quit? I ask myself the same question.
Am I just bored?
Is this goal something I really really really want? (do I want it enough to really complete it?– why did I even decide to take it in the first place?– I won’t lose anything if I finish my degree. I mean, it’s so close. It’d be done in no time for sure. Why quit now? I’d even have a better looking resume after this, but I don’t know… gaaahhhh. Will I be really happy if I get this goal? What is it really for? Is the reward truly worth the effort I’m putting in? Why did this goal mean so much to me 2 years ago? I don’t know…I don’t know)
OR wait…
HAVE I JUST OUTGROWN THIS OLD GOAL?

Hmmmmmm…..

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

If you guys have any advice for me. Please feel free to leave a comment.

___

featured image credit: http://undergradsuccess.com/

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. cicorm says:

    My two cents. it’s good to finish when this close. Completing things is like keeping a promise to ourselves + tidying up. Also, there is always a chance you need the qualification for a job in future. Good luck, Monica! 🙂

    1. Monica says:

      Thank you so much for taking time to give me advice. I appreciate it. 🙂

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